Dating when your job keeps you travelling

Be honest about your diary from the start

Say how often you travel in your profile or your first few messages. If you are away two weeks in four, a single honest line filters out people who want someone around every evening and appeals to those who like their own space.

An example line, to adapt: "I travel a fair amount for work, so I value time at home and make the most of it." Many people over 45 have full lives of their own and would welcome a partner who isn't always there.

Being clear also protects you. Someone who seems unbothered by your schedule, but then resents every trip, is easier to spot early.

Dating around the weeks you are home

Treat your home weeks as the main event and plan around them. Before a trip, line up a date for the week you get back, so the relationship has momentum rather than starting again each time.

Short first dates suit a disrupted diary. Breakfast the morning after you land, or a drink on your first evening back, is easier to fix than a dinner three weeks away. Our guide to first dates that fit a busy working week has more ideas.

Keeping it going between trips

A planned call does more for a new relationship than constant messaging across time zones. Endless messages are tiring and rarely build much. A better rhythm for most couples:

• A planned call on one or two set evenings, at a time that works across time zones. Check the time difference before you suggest one; a 7pm call from Singapore lands around midday in London.
• A short message at the start or end of the day, without the pressure of an instant reply.
• Something to look forward to: the next date, booked before you leave.
• Share a little of the trip, such as a photo of the view, not the details of your meetings.

If the relationship becomes serious, consider whether your partner might join you for a weekend at the end of a trip. The guide to finding a travel companion covers what to agree first, from who pays to whether you share a room.

Meeting someone where you are

Meeting someone in another city carries more risk than dating at home, so add a few precautions. You don't know the area, you have nobody nearby, and you are leaving soon, which some people see as an opportunity.

A checklist for dates away from home:

1. Video call first, as you would at home.
2. Choose the venue yourself: somewhere busy and public that you can find easily, ideally close to good transport.
3. Don't meet in your hotel, or share your room number or hotel name early on. A hotel bar used by your colleagues is not discreet either.
4. Tell someone at home where you are going and when you'll be back, and share your location with them if you can.
5. Keep your passport, cards and work devices secure, and don't leave drinks unattended.
6. Know how you are getting back before the date starts: a licensed taxi or ride booked through an app, not a lift from someone you have just met.

Before you date abroad: laws and official advice

Read the official travel advice for the country before you date there. Laws and attitudes on relationships vary widely: in some countries, relationships that are legal at home can be criminal offences, and public displays of affection can cause trouble. The local laws section of each country's advice page covers this.

The links are at the foot of this page. Check them before each trip; advice changes.

If something goes wrong while you are abroad, such as a theft, an assault or a threat, contact the local emergency services first, then your country's embassy or consulate. Each country page of the official advice lists the local emergency numbers and how to reach consular help. Tell your employer's travel or security team too, if it has one; that is what they are there for, and you don't need to explain more than is necessary.

Keeping work out of it

When you travel for work, your employer's reputation travels with you. Keep the company name, client names and the purpose of your trip out of conversations with people you have just met. Don't connect on professional networks until you know someone well, and don't use a work phone or email for dating.

The guide to dating discreetly when people know your name covers profiles, photos and privacy in more depth. If you are senior and well paid, dating as a high earner looks at how much to reveal about money, and when.

Scams that use travel

Fraudsters often claim to travel for work themselves, because it explains why they can never meet. Common cover stories include an engineer on a contract abroad, a doctor with an aid organisation, a consultant between projects or someone working offshore.

The pattern to recognise:

• they are always about to visit, but something gets in the way;
• the video camera never works, or the call cuts out;
• a problem arises that only money can solve: a customs fee, a frozen account, a flight home, a hospital bill.

If someone you have only messaged asks for money for a fee, a flight or an emergency abroad, stop. A genuine person travelling for work has an employer, a bank and a consulate to call. The safety guide explains how to report it in the UK, the US and Australia.

When it becomes more than a few dates

Couples where one partner travels a lot usually make it work by protecting time together, not by trying to talk constantly. Agree what "home time" means to each of you: whole weekends, certain evenings, holidays booked well ahead.

Be honest about whether the pattern suits you both, and revisit it every few months. If you are new to the site and want to see who is there before you start planning around your diary, how Elite Mature Mingle works explains the steps from profile to first message.